One Native American's Feelings About the Tragedy
Holly: Chicago, IL
This past week has been one of tears, rage, and suffering by all our brothers and sisters, black, white, Indian, Arab. There are so many unanswered questions, ready to be filled by the many different answers that rise from so many voices. But what is right? What is truthful? And what is justice? As an Indian, how am I to react but as a human being, who is also Indian, and also American? All Indians know what it feels like to carry these contradictory roles and their adjacent mind-sets. It's nearly impossible.
I feel great pain for the old friend who was killed, but perhaps honorably so, on the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania.
I feel so much worry, and great sobbing relief and gratitude that one of my best friends was able to escape from the World Trade Center on 9-11.
I feel so much rage at the arrogance of a group of people who play with our lives, economy and emotions as Americans, for reasons that likely have nothing to do with us.
I feel so proud of our country, which, with all of it's faults and injustices to our people, is still one of the best in the world. I cry when I see our flag being proudly flown.
I feel suspicious of our government. Why didn't they see it? What did they do to make us deserve this? What can they do to prevent it?
I feel great anxiety that our country will go to war with an almost unknown assailant. What effect will this have on my community and family? Is this just the beginning of the nightmare?
Most of all, I am mourning the fact that our children have to see this. Our children are witnessing this pain, this rage, and this war. Forever, they will remember the terrorists as being "Arab". How unfair to Arab people. How unfair to Islam. How unfair to the people who died or are without loved ones.
I am a person who opposes the death penalty and opposes war, and yet, I feel the need for justice. How? Is it right for others to be killed in order to prevent this again? Perhaps this can better be answered by those that gave their lives, including my friend, to bring their hijacked plane to the ground to prevent others from dying. They obviously said "yes."
And yet, it's clear that someone, somewhere, is in need of healing. This pain and terror inflicted could only arise from great anger. Where did it come from? Why? Is the terrorist(s) who did this crazy or did we somehow ask for it? Can we heal with guns and bombs or with flowers and feathers? Is the healing even possible?
I am so torn right now between anti-war protests and joining the military because it's impossible for me to sit and do nothing. I don't believe that the protests will stop our military. I'm not sure that using military force isn't the right thing in this situation. It isn't Vietnam and it isn't Pearl Harbor. It's much worse.
I give my heart to all and for some words to soothe my soul, I am forever grateful. I can say, with all certainty, that I wish peace to everyone, including the terrorists.
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